How can I feel better?
How can I feel better?
An age old question that sometimes feels impossible to answer. Perhaps you find yourself struggling with difficult feelings like anxiety, depression, anger, and/or fear. Whatever the reason may be, it has caused you enough distress to land you here in search for help. So here are a few things you can do to help yourself feel better.
Acknowledge your feelings. Begin by simply naming your feelings. There is a saying that says, “you have to name it to tame it.” Simply telling yourself, “I am feeling anxious, this will pass,” can be a first good step to validating the fact that you are feeling something.
Practice some grounding exercises. Grounding exercises are a way of putting some space between you and your feelings. They are not meant to make your feelings go away, but rather to help you tolerate them better. You can practice box breathing where you inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and then hold your breath again for four seconds. You will do this four times. You can also practice looking for 5 things you can see, noticing 4 things you can feel on your body such as your clothing, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Other grounding techniques include picking a category of things such as movies and then naming all the things you can think of in that category. Practice a few grounding techniques to find what works best for you.
Distract yourself. Engage in activities that distract you from the difficult feelings. Perhaps you enjoy walking or riding your bike. Take some time to get out for a walk or a bike ride. You can also call a friend and just talk about silly things. This will help you identify and develop coping skills that can help you feel better when you begin to feel this way again in the future.
Have a routine. Develop a routine that feels good and reliable for you. Often, we struggle with difficult feelings when they don’t feel safe for us. By having some predictability in other areas of our life, we can begin to feel safe and supported. When we know what to expect in our every day lives, it can make the unexpectedness of feelings a little easier to navigate.
Exercise, get enough sleep, and eat well. The importance of this often gets overlooked. When we mentally don’t feel well, it causes a lot of changes to our appetite, sleep, and motivation. Our body holds our emotion after all. Taking some time to exercise can allow our bodies to naturally let go of excess emotion that we have stored; getting some rest gives our body the much needed respite it needs from our feelings; and eating well gives our body the nourishment it needs to go on.
Seek professional help. When you are ready, seek professional help by finding the therapist that is right for you. Take some time to do your research until you find “the one.” Keep in mind that finding a therapist can be like finding a partner and not every therapist will be right for you. Once you find your match, you will have someone that you can trust in and confide without fear of judgment. This person can help you process your feelings and thoughts about anything that you may be going through.
About the Author
Jennifer is an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT137148) and an associate professional clinical counselor (APCC 13125) supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT (CAMFT90961). Jennifer's experience includes crisis intervention, addiction medicine, outpatient and inpatient treatment for a variety of mental health needs. In her free time, Jennifer enjoys spending time with her family and friends barbecuing, spending time in nature, and traveling and exploring new places.
