“Trying to Stay the Same While Changing”
“Trying to Stay the Same While Changing”
Philip Bromberg
This quote sounds very familiar, even though I heard it for the first time today. How often have I said to myself, “This is the day I am going to start my new workout program…or My low carb/no carb lifestyle…or I am going to quit porn...or I am going to start paying attention to my partner’s needs and desires’’. The list is endless. And being a woman of my word, I have made some of those declarations but never followed through. The motivation is usually heavy on the front end, though something inside prevents me from fully embracing the change I initially wanted. Could it be that anxious part inside that wonders what change will cost? Or perhaps another part inside resists with every breath I take? Or can I simply “stay the same while changing,” as the opening quote suggests?
I don’t know about you, but this is what I know is true for me. Whenever it comes to making a major change for the purpose of personal growth there is going to be a point at which I will have to let go of one thing to be able to move on to the next. For example, when you were learning to ride a bike for the first time, You had training wheels, and then, as you built up your confidence, the training wheels were removed. The next thing you know, you are riding like the rest of your peers. Change is kind of like that in the beginning. Slowly, as your ability increases, it will take you to the next level and progressively move you in a forward motion. If you want change in your circumstance, be willing to embrace the unknown, as change is brand new territory. It requires courage to believe that change will be worth the effort of taking that first step towards it.
It means that you recognize how the change will improve your situation or, in some way, increase your capacity to deal with your life, unlike before. Change is mysterious because it affects us each so individually. It is the one thing that can make lasting differences on so many levels. If I know in my heart that change is the best, most reasonable option to consider and the only thing I have not really tried to do before, then it is worth taking that leap of faith into the realm of change. Because change has the potential to transform my world, my relationships, my future career goals, and so much more. I am an agent for change. As a therapist, I know that some of the most healing moments have come because someone in my virtual office decided to take small steps toward the change they thought was impossible. When you make the decision to change, you have empowered yourself to believe that it is possible.
If you are willing to explore the idea of change and want someone to guide you in this journey, please reach out to the Center for Integrative Change. We may be the “change” you are looking for.
About The Author
Sandi Timmer is an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC 7006) and a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist candidate. She is supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT (CA90961) at the Center for Integrative Change. Sandi works with adult men and women and she is also offering counseling services to couples. She is equipped to counsel clients who are struggling with substance or process addictions. Sandi has extensive training for partners experiencing betrayal trauma. She also has experience in supporting survivors of domestic violence and elementary school age children suffering from various academic problems stemming from challenging family systems.
