Two Choices You Have After a Relapse
Two Choices You Have After a Relapse
Relapse – This word undoubtedly has a negative connotation to it. When it comes to the addiction world, this often means falling back into old behaviors that you ultimately did not want to return to. Fortunately, relapsing doesn’t mean you are doomed or that you will never recover. In fact, you have some choices to make in the aftermath of a relapse that will greatly determine your course moving forward. Let’s take a look at two of the choices you can make and how they could impact you.
Choice #1 – Tell Yourself You Will Never Recover
When you experience a relapse, you may feel you have been knocked down and that you can’t get up. While it may feel like this in the moment, remaining in this way of thinking and feeling will likely prove counterproductive. Why? Because when you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, you may lose hope and find yourself giving up and continually returning to the behavior. Instead, see if you can notice this relapse as a learning opportunity. Keep reading below to discover some helpful questions to ask yourself.
Choice #2 – Ask Yourself: “What Did I Learn From This, and What Do I Need to Change Moving Forward?”
Instead of staying down in the dumps, see if you can get curious by asking yourself, “what did I learn from this?” This can be a crucial question because the reality is, we learn from our mistakes. Many of us are afraid of failure (and it can be scary!), but failure can also be our greatest teacher. You can also ask yourself, “what thoughts or feelings contributed to this relapse?” This question can help you grow in awareness so the next time you are feeling this way, you can do something about it. Perhaps you were hurt, tired, lonely, or sad, but instead of letting these feelings control you, see if you can deal with them in a healthy way.
Similar to asking yourself what you learned from this, asking the question “what do I need to change moving forward?” is also extremely helpful. During your recent relapse, did you find yourself at a certain location, or at a certain place on the internet? Is this a place you can usually find yourself that leads to a relapse? If so, see if you can plan to avoid these situations.
Here’s a helpful analogy: Imagine you are standing next to a swimming pool on one foot. What would it take for you to be pushed in? It would likely only take one person, with one hand, to push you into the pool. Instead, see if you can get further away from the pool, maybe behind a gate, and plant both feet on the floor. In this scenario, it would probably take three people to pick you up and throw you into the pool. In the same way, consider the changes that will put you in a less vulnerable state moving forward and implement them if you can.
Hopefully looking at two choices you have after a relapse can give you hope, and help you continue your road to recovery. If you find that making a particular choice is challenging, you are not alone. If you are needing any additional help, a therapist at the Center for Integrative Change is available for you.
About the Author
Alex Primo is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Center for Integrative Change. With training in EMDR and additional training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, he finds great joy in helping men break out of the cycle of unwanted sexual behavior, and helping couples restore trust and intimacy. When he is not seeing clients, he enjoys playing board games with his family, learning magic tricks, and rooting for the Dodgers.
