How Flexible Thinking Can Change Us
How Flexible Thinking Can Change Us
Many of us enter therapy with the hope of reducing our anxiety, stress, or anger. While there are many ways to approach these presenting problems, I have found one treatment goal that touches almost all of us: the capacity to increase flexible thinking. Flexible thinking refers to the ability to adapt your thoughts, perspectives, and approaches to new or changing situations. It involves being open-minded, willing to consider different viewpoints, and adjusting your thinking in response to new information, feedback, or challenges. If one can increase their capacity for flexible thinking, they’ll be able to pivot, problem-solve creatively, and ultimately embrace the uncertainty and ambiguity of living.
Loosening the grip on your preconceived ideas– and sometimes rigid beliefs–takes curiosity and a willingness to explore our unconscious defenses. If I may, I’d like to offer some places to start when opening to this kind of work.
Pay attention to your body. Therapy often includes somatic (the connection between mind and body) techniques because our bodies are powerful sources of wisdom. Our emotional and psychological experiences are often stored in the body. When we feel resistance in our bodies it may be a sign that we need to dive deeper into fears or past experiences holding us in place.
Start small. Be willing to take small steps into uncertainty, so that overtime you may increase your tolerance for greater freedom. An example may be to try something you’ve previously written off, wait longer before sharing your opinion/feedback, or give away control over things you’d usually spearhead (music, food, or entertainment picks).
Explore your defenses. Defensive mechanisms, like avoidance, denial, or projection, are designed to protect us from emotional pain. The truth is that they also protect us from vulnerability, a necessary component for connection and growth. By getting curious about what our black-and-white thinking is trying to protect us from, we can find more open, flexible ways of responding.
Practice Empathy. Developed through conscious practice, real empathy is an active effort to understand another person’s perspective and to connect with them emotionally. Try listening to someone with different beliefs or stories without interruption or planning what you’ll say next. And resist the urge to judge or “fix” their situation.
Rigid thinking can contribute to stress, anxiety, and frustration, especially when things don’t go as expected. Being able to let go of fixed expectations and adjust your mindset can reduce stress and improve emotional well-being. If you’re interested in looking more into this, reach out, and check back next month for more detail on how to practice empathy inside romantic relationships.
About The Author
Helena Habes, MS, AMFT, an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT15024), is supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT (CA90961). With a strong background in addiction treatment, Helena brings a compassionate, trauma-informed approach to therapy, creating a safe and supportive space for individuals and couples to heal and grow. Helena empowers clients to make lasting changes, strengthen their relationships, and create healthier patterns of communication and intimacy.
